You guys, I’ve been in a bit of rough spot lately. Things don’t seem to be going right as I work toward my dreams, and I just haven’t been feeling that great in general. I have, however, figured out a system to be awesome every day – even if it means just having some ‘me’ time.
Say what you really mean
Let’s start with an example. You and your friend are extremely close but you’ve managed to become frenemies. “Look at the cellulite in your thighs!” your friend says, pointing at your long legs. “I hope you don’t plan on actually moving in with him after college! How dependent!” you say when she mentions her boyfriend.
We all do this, but everyone knows comments like these reveal insecurity in the speakers’ own self. Instead of competing and ruining a good relationship, why not congratulate your friend on her killer legs (she must work hard for them!) or support your friend for following your heart (what a nice idea!)! This doesn’t mean you have to lie, but it does mean you need to tell that girl how rockin’ she is when you think she’s got it going on.
And you guys, this isn’t an open invitation to tell someone off. It’s about respecting your boundaries as an individual and speaking from your heart. Miscommunication can lead to so much self-doubt. Instead, tell the universe what you REALLY want from it and what you REALLY feel.
Take care of yourself
A few years ago, before Mr. Boss came along, I was going through my first breakup. And guys, this was a tough one. It was that crappy time at the beginning of December when everything’s cold and dead, and I was pushing myself physically and mentally to get through the exams of a very difficult junior year. I was not at all prepared to get dumped. But I did. And I was heartbroken. To top it off, the mangled relationship continued into my summer break. Although I had things to keep me busy and a supportive family, I still needed something to get my mind off of it.
That’s where running came in. I ran in the middle of the day when it was hottest out. I ran five miles and when that wasn’t enough, I ran ten. And I ran every damn day. This continued on until my knees gave out and the doctor ordered me to stop for a few weeks. But even though I hurt myself in the process , I came out on top – I found balance within myself. And you know what? I had my confidence back. And hell yes, that boy came crawling.
You have to take care of yourself. I’m not talking about wearing makeup every day or losing 30 pounds. But this life is ultimately about YOU. You have to make yourself feel strong and beautiful and important. Do what it takes, whether it’s eating chocolate whenever you want or running a marathon or getting your hair done or crashing on the couch with some chick flicks and green shit on your face. Do what makes you happy. Nurture that happiness. Find what gives you energy and let it grow.
Let me just take a moment to groan at this one. This is my least favorite tip and one of my least favorite things to be told. I. Do. Not. Appreciate. It.
So why am I telling it to you? I truly do believe this works for some people and in some situations. The more I think about it, though, I just hate this phrase because it’s not entirely true. Yes, think positive. But you also need to act along with those thoughts! When you wake up on the wrong side of the bed or are in a tough situation that’s testing you, think positive and really believe it. Because you know, an amazing thing happens when you think positively – your actions align with your thoughts, and positive things happen. Think about it.
This is another one I struggle with. How do you know you’re being grateful enough? What does that even mean?
I’m going through a pretty tough situation right now. Obsessed cat lady jokes aside (how I hate those!), my 18 year old cat is my best friend. I found him when we were both a young age, convinced him to follow me home, asked his owner if I could keep him and have been in love ever since. We’ve been through all those life milestones together, and more. He’s always been there by my side, rolling belly-up to make me smile if he sees me crying and ready to give me a head-butt. (Good lord, I’m going to cry writing this!).
My family and I know he’s getting up there in age and he’s had several health issues in the past year. Because of this, I’m trying to cherish the time I have left with him. I’ve spent months crying and imagining what life will be like without him, and I keep getting told to be grateful of the time we’ve had together and the time we have left. But how do I know if I’m doing that? I spend most of my evenings and weekends with him. Is that being grateful? Should I be dropping on my knees and thanking the universe for bringing him to me every day?
Being grateful isn’t really a thing you know for sure that you have. It just means knowing somewhere in the back of your mind that you don’t have it that bad, that you really could lose everything, that feeling entitled to things is no good. I’m not saying the next time a loved one passes away or you total your car that you need to think of the clichéd children in Africa and China who literally have nothing. Just take time once in awhile to imagine life with everything gone and you’ll be a much happier person when you wake up to a kiss, a wet nose or a job
I all but despised my circumstances when I graduated from college and returned to my parents’ house to continue my job search. It wasn’t necessarily because I didn’t have the amount of money I wanted (thank goodness my student loans hadn’t kicked in yet) or because I was living under my parents’ roof. It was because, aside from applications, I wasn’t doing anything all day!
When my life is spinning out of control, I have to take control of something . Whether you’re bored with job searching or frazzled at work, make the time to control your life and be productive somewhere in your day (and yes, I mean your day – those reports for the office don’t count!). Go for a run early in the morning or write that blog post that’s been floating around in your head for weeks. Do something that makes you happy, contributes to your well being and will ultimately make a positive difference in your life.